Category Archives: Quotes

Dov’è Il Procione?

Where is The Raccoon?

 
Ryan: (from the kitchen) Did you bring a raccoon home from running?
Kate: what? no…
Ryan: Are you sure?
Kate: yes…
Ryan: What did you do?
Kate: I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich.
Ryan: I know. I can tell.
Kate: Really? I thought I cleaned it up.
Ryan: I’m not mad, but you should come in here & look at this.
 
(Kate walks into the kitchen)
Kate: Look! I put the peanut butter away!
Ryan: I can see that … without even having to move, I can see that. ’cause the cabinet door is still open. And the bread is on the counter, and the jelly is on the counter .. and the knife you used is on the plate covered with breadcrumbs on the counter .
Kate: Oh … 

 

 

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Di Che Cosa Parli Con i Tuoi Amici?

What do you talk about with your friends?

Just ’cause it’s something that amuses me. One night recently I went out with a girlfriend and Ryan went out with her husband (and some others). At the end of the evening, when we talked about how our nights went, I shared some of what my friend and I had discussed. Ryan found one particular topic a little surprising:

Ryan: How did this come up?
Me: How would it not come up?
Ryan: I promise you, I could hang out with him every day for 10 years, and this would never come up.

Brian Regan knows what I’m talking about: Brian Regan: Are you dating anyone?

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Colazione per Cena

Breakfast for Dinner

Breakfast for dinner is one of Ryan’s and my favorite meals. Not only is it delicious (and impossible to find in Italy – even Breakfast for Breakfast) … but it’s also cheap, fast, and easy. aaaand, we usually have the ingredients even when we’ve just returned from a week of travel. Bonus!

Of course, this title only relates to one of the following … but here are some fun conversations Ryan and I have had lately. :-p

 

Yesterday morning, at work, Ryan was looking around my desk:

Kate: What do you need?
Ryan: I don’t know
I pretend to look around, under my desk…
Kate: “I’m looking for my motivation”
Ryan: That’s about accurate.

 

At home, Ryan tries to throw a shirt into the laundry, but I’m between him & the basket, so I put my arms up over my head:

Ryan: What are you doing?
Kate: I’m assisting you.
He throws me the shirt, I throw it in the hamper.
Kate: I’m trying to up my stats, yo. I wanted the assist.
Ryan: (laughing) Ok, but in that situation I’d get the assist.

 

At home, Ryan’s looking for his coat :

Ryan: Where’s my coat?
Kate: I think it’s hanging up.
Ryan: You hung up my coat?
Kate: No, I think you actually hung up your coat.
Ryan: I did?
Kate: I know, it was weird.

 

Making dinner reservations over IM:

Kate: We have to make dinner reservations, Can you help me?
Ryan: sure
Kate: I was thinking Trastevere.
Ryan: Oi
Ryan: Ok
Kate: was that ‘Oi’ a Freudian slip? We don’t have to go to Trastevere.
Ryan: I mistyped ‘Ok’! I didn’t mean ‘Oi’!

 

Morning Conversation:

Kate: Last night’s dinner was actually really good.
Ryan: We’re so simple!
Kate: Well, it was really nice of you to make me that egg.
Ryan: I feel like it’s cheating when I say to you “What would you like? I’ll make you whatever you want. I’ll make you your favorite thing.”, and you say “Eggs!”

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Che Cosa Ha Detto?

What Did He Say?

Because sometimes I like to record things that amuse me:

 

At work, in a meeting where we were asked to go around the table, introduce ourselves, and explain what we do:

Ryan: I’m Kate’s part-time assistant
Coworker: Actually 24 hour assistant
Me: Yeah – it’s a full service operation

 

On cleaning around the house:

Ryan: Kate buys the swiffer as if it’s going to solve all of our problems. Like one day the swiffer will just get up and clean the floors. But you’re never going to clean the floors, and I hate those things, so you just threw away $10.

 

In Portugal, Mom was face down on the bed after a day of touring. We’re deciding where to go for dinner, and we accuse her of ‘fading’:

Mom: I’m not fading. But if I took a little nap, it’d be ok.

 

In Portugal, we stayed at a wonderful Marriott, but disagreed about the quality (read: size) of the comforter. (See if you can fill in the blanks about why that might be.) :

Mom: did you notice any problems with the comforter at the Marriott?
(responding at the same time:)
Ryan: No
Kate: Yes!

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Sa Che Stai Arrivando?

Does he know that you are arriving?

I’m in a taxi on my way home from the airport. The following is a conversation between me and the driver:

Me:How long will it take to get to Parioli at this hour?
Driver:About 45 minutes.
Me:Ok, let’s go there then.
Driver:What difference does it make?
Me:Well, I live in Parioli, and I work in the city center. And I would like to see my husband before work.
Driver:Why?
(Thinking he was making joke, I laughed, and didn’t really answer … so he persisted)
Driver:But Why? He will be sleeping.
Me:He’ll be awake by the time I get there.
Driver:But Why?
(And finally we get to the real point)
Driver:Does he know you are arriving?
Me:*sigh* Yes, he knows I’m coming.
Driver:Oh, ok. I won’t say anything else then.

What’s funny is that I am actually coming home a day early, and I thought about surprising ryan altogether… When I mentioned it at work people were joking about the old adage “spend a quarter, save a marriage.” Where the idea is that you might not want to surprise your spouse at home -lest you discover something you can’t ignore that you didn’t want to know.

I didn’t end up surprising ryan because the timing want great for surprising him at home, and it’s not that much fun to surprise him at work. And also cause I get so excited about surprises that I always give them away. :)

I know marriage isn’t always perfect, but I find it particularly depressing when mr. random cab driver is so convinced that my (presumably italian) husband is having an affair – that he wants to either warn me off, or make sure I know what I’m getting myself into.

Much more appropriate is a line from “crazy, stupid, love” where steve carrell is professing his love for his wife “I have loved her, even when I’ve hated her. You married couples will understand that one.” That one made me smile.

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Citazioni del Giorno

Quotes of the Day

There is a rule when I am watching chick flicks – Ryan is allowed to be there, but he is not allowed to make any comments. We watched a movie together this weekend. When the credits were rolling, this is what Ryan said:

Ryan: Was that a good movie? I’m just asking…
Kate: It wasn’t very good.
Ryan: It wasn’t very good, but it might have been good?
Kate: maybe
Ryan: ’cause I suppressed a lot of comments … a lot … a lot of comments. It was terrible really.

 

A couple weeks ago Ryan drove the car to work and left it in the parking lot when he left on a trip for work. I left it there for most of the week until I needed it to pick up a girlfriend from the airport. I decided to get some exercise and run to work to pick up the car. Not wanting to have a million things in my hand while I ran, I took only the essentials: my cell phone, my badge to get on the compound, and the car keys. I had a lovely jog, and got to the car right on schedule to head directly to the aiport. There was only one small problem. The car wouldn’t start. Getting that taken care of was complicated by the fact that i didn’t have my wallet or any money, and my new cell phone didn’t have any phone numbers in it. After a lot of rigamarole, I did finally make it to the airport … in someone else’s car.

When Ryan came home the following week, we took care of the care. Once we got it jumped, we learned that Ryan had left the dome light on before his trip. We laughed about it, and I told him what a mess it made for me on the day I was to go to the airport. His response? He said I should have accounted for the possibility that he would have done something stupid with the car, and budgeted more time for that.

Kate: You want me to assume that you’re incompetent?

Ryan: Yeah, I think that works out better for me in the long run.

 

And, one final comment, just ’cause it amuses me. After spending a week hanging out with a friend of ours from DC, our friend had this comment:

Friend: You know what they say: ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life!”. And your wife seems pretty easy, you just have to feed her and she’s happy.

Ryan: Yeah, but it’s so temporary. Then you have to feed her again, and you’ve seen how good I am at planning …

 

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Fama Sfigato

Nerd Fame
(Or an approximation thereof)

Recently on his MythBox (Linux computer – used for managing video/audio media and viewing as tv), Ryan got really excited when he saw the below:

[ 0.008335] mce: CPU supports 5 MCE banks
[ 10.080345] Registered IR keymap rc-rc6-mce
[ 10.089451] mceusb 2-3:1.0: Registered Philips eHome Infrared Transceiver on usb2:2
[ 10.089554] usbcore: registered new interface driver mceusb
[ 10.391701] lirc_mod_mce: Windows Media Center Edition USB IR Keyboard and Transceiver driver for LIRC 0.4.0
[ 10.391708] lirc_mod_mce: Ryan Rxxxxxx, [snip] several other email addresses & names [/snip]
[ 10.392781] usbcore: registered new interface driver lirc_mod_mce

Ryan’s commentary:

Apparently my contributions to the LIRC driver for my Windows Media Center keyboard… which I hate… are worth a reference in the driver.

Now if the module would get just get accepted mainline, I can retire…

… oh right, open source… free as in beer… who uses MS hardware in Linux…

He called it his “15 minutes of fame” – It’s cute to see him happy about nerdy things. :)

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