It’s so big!
I just got a new laptop, and then I went away for 3 days. Apparently it’s been sitting in the apartment taunting Ryan. Today he couldn’t take it anymore:
Ryan: Why don’t you set up your laptop? you have a new laptop & it just sits hereKate: I’m going to set it up when I have a good amount of time.(Ryan unpacks the laptop)Ryan: Kate, this is a monster laptop, I think you bought a laptop that’s bigger than mine.
Ryan: Where is my laptop? … Good … mine’s taller at least.
(In the background, as I type this… Ryan monologues)
Ryan: Your screen has a wider aspect ratio than mine, and mine already has a wide aspect ratio
Ryan: and yours is way cooler
Ryan: oooh, your touch pad is cool
Ryan: Do you accept the license terms?
Ryan: Do you want to use recommended settings? or do you want to install important updates? or ask you later?
Kate: no! I don’t want that! ask me later.
Ryan: really? ask you later?
Ryan: you want to delay your security practices? Maybe you should learn more about each option. I’m going to install important settings.
Ryan: Why not?
Kate: It’s going to have to connect to the internet
Ryan: no, not right now. This is your settings. Fine. I’m going to Ask you later. What time is it? I don’t know what time zone this is.
Ryan: Oh sweet! we can set up home group now – so it’ll make it easier for you to print your stupid stuff. “To get the password, ask ryanr on ryanr_pc”. I don’t know the password.
Ryan: I wonder if you have bluetooth.
Kate: I think I don’t.
Ryan: We could probably get you a chip. Or maybe my chip will work in your computer. I’m not giving you my chip. It’s my chip. How long does it take to prepare a desktop??
Ryan: I’m getting kinda bored staring at your giant monitor.
Ryan: Oh no, this is terrible. Dell has stupid support software.
Ryan: Setting up personal settings for: Microsoft Windows. … Oh my gosh, this is the stupidest dialog I’ve ever seen in my life.
Ryan: Oooh, that was nice. Premium sound it says. yes. That was premium.
Ryan: It says number 9 in your system tray, and I don’t know why.
Ryan: I’m going to install IE 9. That’s going to be the first order of business.
Kate: No! I don’t want IE 9! How can that be the first order of business?
Ryan: Why don’t you want IE 9?
Kate: I don’t want IE! What version is on there?
Ryan: 8. I’m upgrading.
Kate: From crap to crap?
Ryan: Well, now we know Bing is useless. You search for IE9 in Bing and it takes you nowhere even close. You search for IE 9 in Google, and it takes you to IE9 beta test drive page.
Also, Last week:
Ryan: I’m going to take your old laptop and install Linux.
Kate: Oh yeah? You’re just going to take my laptop?
Ryan: What? You’re not using it.
Kate: Fine, I’m going to take your Android phone and install OS X.
Ryan: What? That’s not the same. That doesn’t even make any sense.
Kate: What? It’s not like you really use your phone. It’s dead most of the time.